yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
