i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
In America we eat man semen.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
