you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
