I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
