well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
