we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
