There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
