i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
