i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
