i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
