i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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