Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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