There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
