idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
