Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
