The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
