Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
