Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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