DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
