My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
