I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
