so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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