He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
