How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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