Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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