also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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