So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
