She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sext me about skeletons
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
