ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
