3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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