I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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