community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
