Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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