I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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