O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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