If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
