I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
