For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
