He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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