atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
