Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
