it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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