She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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