so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
where are my eyebrows?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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