ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
