I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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