Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
