I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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