my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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