I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
