is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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