Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have fence marks all over my body
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
