Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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