we're blogging at a bar
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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