im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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