After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The best revenge is premature balding
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
