What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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