Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want her autograph on my taint
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
