Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
