I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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